She’ll never be his beast of burden…

Who said it wouldn't last?

Semi-dead Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood has reportedly split with his 20 year old girlfriend, Russian waitress Ekaterina Ivanova.

In a tell-all (is there any other kind?) interview with Hello! magazine, Pavlova complains that her fairy-tale romance with Wood soon became an ‘evil fairy-tale’. You know, the kind with trolls and evil step-sisters and midgets I guess.

“He was like a child with tantrums when he was drunk, throwing water bottles and doing impressions of my voice… It was like trying to keep a child under control. In the end I was so unimpressed by everything. I found it very fake”.

Deep.

So you expected your 62 year old boyfriend, who’s lived a rock’n’roll, Peter Pan-like existence for the better part of 4 decades, to finally settle down? Has no one explained to this ditz what the Russian translation for ‘Arm Candy’ is? Hows about ‘Sexual Plaything’? Nyet.

What deep insight into the human condition can you offer a man who’s partied with Keith Richards for over 30 years and lived?

If it seems like I’m taking this a little personal, who can blame me? Especially when you hear that Supernova’s classy parting shot was that Wood treated her like ‘an evil Goblin King’.

Foul! That’s crossing the line, girly! Everyone knows there’s only one Goblin King. And this is he…

Dance the magic dance, motherfuckers

And Davie is only 62 years young as well. Pity he’s married (though that didn’t stop E-Kat previously).

I’m sure this whole experience has taught Comeonova it’s probably best to wait until a man’s mature enough for a committed relationship anyway.

Whenever that is.

Until next time let this act as a healthy reminder to lock up your grandfather’s, and steer them away from the borscht,

BPM

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