Dem Hogs is Wild!

It’s that time of year again when you start to see a lot of ‘Best of’ lists. As a self-professed movie nerd it’s been awesome to see how diverse these lists have been for the critics fave films of 2009. What about you? Was your favorite movie of the year kickass sci-fi like District 9? Animated instant classic Up? Perhaps it was quirky rom-com 500 Days of Summer. Or maybe you enjoyed the hell out of more dramatic fare like The Hurt Locker, or Lars Von Trier’s highly controversial Antichrist.

Me? I’m nominating something a little different…

That’s right. Old. Dogs. Bitches!

Now let me clarify a few minor quibbles. No, I haven’t actually seen Old Dogs. Nor do I intend to see it (though it IS the film my mother-in-law most wants to see this holiday season… I’m not kidding).

No, I’m throwing my weight behind this tepid turkey because it’s recent failure at the U.S box office (it just scraped in $40 million with a production budget of $35 million) may have saved a little piece of my heart. And my soul. And perhaps yours too, dear reader. Because according to kickass movie site Dark Horizons, the under-performance of Old Dogs is one of the major contributing factors in Disney Pictures’ decision to axe several films from their upcoming production slate in 2010.

And one of those movies… was Wild Hogs 2: Bachelor Ride.

Yeah, that's right! Comedy. Event. Of. The. Year.

For those who may have missed it (and if you did, you don’t know how I envy you), in 2007 Wild Hogs was a huge surprise hit, grossing over $250 million worldwide.

250,000,000 dollars. Say it slowly.

Bring on the sequel, right? A script was ready and waiting (those movies had a script?), all key cast had signed on, and original director Walt Becker was gonna be back in the chair… so what happened?

Old Dogs happened. Old Dogs… starring Travolta. Directed by Becker. Aimed at the exact same demographic as dem crazy Dogs… I mean Hogs. Christ, they barely changed the title from one shitty film to the next.

Say what you will about this whole global economic crisis deal. Yes, interest rates keep rising. Yes, we’re all either losing our jobs or having our hours reduced drastically. Yes, our bank managers keep comparing our crushing levels of debt to banana smoothies.

But if it makes a battling little studio like Disney Pictures occasionally re-assess the wisdom in releasing utter crap like Wild Hogs 2… well… in MY world… I’m prepared to call that breaking even.

Until next time… I expect this kind of shit from John, Robin and Martin… but YOU William H. Macy??? You’re better than this!



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