All units remain on the lookout for Gordon Shumway

Helloooo ladies

That’s right, there are NO sacred cows here at the BPM. And that includes icons from your childhood like Gordon Shumway. Or, as he’s more commonly known as, good ol’ Alf.

A short refresher course:

Harmless fun, right? So Alf is one of those annoying assholes who won’t put the video camera down when you ask him nicely to stop. And yeah, maybe he IS a perv who’s always trying to ‘accidentally’ walk in on your wife while she’s in the shower. And so what if he IS always trying to eat your favorite pet. Who amongst us is perfect?

I grew up in the ‘Alf’ era of sitcoms. Family with 2.5 kids, exasperated hard working Dad, stay at home Mom, hilarious hi jinks, annnnnnd by the end of the episode we’re right back where we started. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. I watched ‘Alf’. You’re damn right I did. But even as an 8 year old I remember thinking ‘This is just a bit… uhh… dumb’.

So who knew that the True Hollywood Story behind ‘Alf’ would be so interesting?

Shumway in happier times

Did you know that the Alf TV set was a death trap that nearly drove cast and crew members clear out of their minds?

http://www.cracked.com/article/135_6-beloved-tv-shows-that-traumatized-cast-members-life/

Did you know that someone thought it was a good idea for Alf to have his own TV talk show (well, for 7 episodes at least) in mid 2004?

http://www.tvland.com/originals/alf/

Hows about the fact that right wing Fox nut-ball Bill O’Reilly had an on-air ‘debate’ with Alf in 2007 (cue your own ‘which one’s the puppet’ gags)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/12/02/oreilly-teaches-alf-how-t_n_74994.html

That video definitely proves something. I’m just not sure what.

And this time it's personal...

And the kicker, did you know that beloved Tanner family Dad, Max Wright, was the subject of a drug / gay sex scandal in 2001?

That’s right. Willie Tanner was reported (by the National Enquirer, naturally) as having smoked a whole lotta crack and then soliciting gay sex with several homeless men.

http://www.holytaco.com/alfs-dad-loves-gay-sex-and-crack

I don’t even care if that’s true. It’s the kind of oddity that comes along so rarely that ‘facts’ become practically irrelevant.

So, the next time you think you’re sitting down to watch some harmless repeats of ‘Alf’ on Foxtel… think.

Think about all the disparate shit behind the scenes of a TV show… think about the combined insanity of the performers playing the ‘American Dream’ family unit… think about the fact that Alf refuses to die… think about smoking crack…

And think that if it was THIS bad on ‘Alf’, then what must life have been like on the set of the ‘Golden Girls’?

My penis just died

Stay tuned for my inevitable ‘Perfect Strangers’ expose,

BPM

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