BPM just joined ‘Facebook groups suck balls’

I’ve always believed in at least trying to be fair and even-handed in my approach to life. I’d like to hope I’m not overly prejudiced against any one group; I hate everything pretty much equally.

So Twitter, hit the bench. Today Facebook is getting in the game…

More specifically the vast majority of Facebook ‘Groups’. A few quick questions:

Do you want to join the group ‘Hates Cocksuckers‘? As in people that suck, or people who literally suck? If by Cocksuckers you mean shitty people, then what’s the alternative?
Do you want to join the group ‘I ♥ Garry Unmarried‘? Why??? And putting aside matters of taste, why would I want to join a group that can’t even correctly spell the name of the show they claim to love?

Do you want to join the group ‘Fluffy kittens are cute‘? Who out there is going to say that they aren’t? Am I also then forced to join the ‘Sky is blue’ group and the ‘Food is good when you’re hungry’ group?

Do you want to join the group ‘NO, I WILL NOT PAY $3.99 A MONTH TO USE FACE BOOK FROM JULY 9TH 2010!‘? Who told you that you had to? Why the angry CAPS over a demand no one officially made?

Do you want to join the group ‘If we get 1,000,000 members Steve’s gonna shave his balls with a rusty kitchen knife‘? Does this count as a legally binding agreement? Do I get to personally watch Steve do it? Then why should I and the other 999,999 people give a shit what Steve does with/to/around his balls?

Do you want to join the group ‘Support Breast Cancer‘? Shit, I didn’t log on to Facebook to feel like a bad person… now I’m obliged to join.

Do you want to join ‘Australia were full!‘? Wow, you make an informed argument and some cohesive points. I’m not even sure how to begin debating with someone that doesn’t know how to spell the contraction of ‘we are’.

I go on Facebook for the same reason everybody does; to keep in touch with friends I can’t be bothered with in real life, to spy on the odd person I went to High School with, and to see if any girls I know have posted photo’s of themselves at the beach.

Can’t we just leave it at that and be cyber-pals without any of these hassles? Please?

Monkey likes this.



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2 Responses to “BPM just joined ‘Facebook groups suck balls’”

  1. Lu Says:

    So I am pondering now: which am I? Am I the friend you can’t be bothered with, the high school friend you occasionally spy on, or the one you hope will post a picture of herself at the beach. Hrrrrmmm…. 😉

    Great post, I too inwardly cringe every time ‘X has joined Group Y’.

    Lu x

  2. buttonpushingmonkey Says:

    Ahhh Lu… how could I ever simply pigeon-hole you as just ONE type of anything???


    Did I do enough to dodge that bullet?

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