Finally! The Bingle-heist Mastermind revealed!

After several weeks of dogged detective work, police have finally managed to apprehend the culprit responsible for the theft of Lara Bingle’s $250,000 Aston Martin in late December.

But who could it be? Images flash through your head… ‘Oceans 11’, ‘The Italian Job’, ‘The Thomas Crown Affair’, ‘Entrapment’, ‘Robin Hood’, ‘The Pink Panther’. Surely this couldn’t be the work of one man?! And if it was, how could any single law enforcement body possibly hope to contain him?

Police are refusing to release a name (grrrrrrr!), but they have revealed that they arrested a 14-year-old Sydney boy at his La Perouse home on Monday.

Wait… what?

That’s right. The Machiavellian crim that sparked this whole investigation? He just finished 8th grade.

SHIT! He's armed now too??? We're boned!

That’s right, Lara. You were out-thunk by a kid who didn’t get his pen license until a year or two ago.

Good luck to this dude. In my opinion all charges should be dropped, Junior here has performed a vital service to the community. He’s not only shone a torch on the air-headed ineptitude of another rich white girl, but in doing so he’s also empowered me to keep posting pictures of Lara Bingle in her next-to-nothings for no good reason.

Weird... I have this same outfit

Shit, when I was 14 it took most of what I had not to bump into things or scratch myself in public. This kid has raised the bar for all petty thieves heading to juvenile court. He’s doing something with his life, man.

We salute you, Teenage Boy!

BPM

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