Coca Cola, and how they’ll probably try to spin that Haiti thing from a negative into a positive

Wismond is pulled from the rubble by rescue workers

After 11 days, it seemed no good news could possibly emerge from the earthquake ravaged city of Port au Prince. And then I read about Wismond Exantus.

25-year-old Wismond was pulled from the rubble by an international search-and-rescue-team beneath his former place of work, the Napolitain Grocer’s Store. Trapped for 11 days, Wismond’s brother Jean-Pierre had tried to approach the wreckage of the store, only to be turned away by local police doing their best to prevent wide-spread looting.

How could Wismond possibly survive for so long?

That’s right. By eating very small amounts of the food he could reach, but principally by drinking Coca Cola. Reports have claimed he’s weak, but not terribly so. Tired, but lucid. Nowhere near as bad as you’d expect, in other words. Wow… Solo, you may be a thirst-crusher but now Coke is a proven life-saver!

You just know one of the marketing daemon’s at Coca Cola heard this story and starting skipping like a 5-year-old girl through the office. Yes, this whole Haiti dealio is horrible, a horrible tragedy, but on the flip side… think of the free advertising! Think of the promotional possibilities! At the very least, Kerry Armstrong, you’ve been vindicated at last. Huzzah!

In a way I actually DO hope that Coke produces an ad featuring Wismond Exantus, if only because the money afforded him by this opportunity may help him to re-build both his life and his family’s. Maybe they could even move to an island NOT perfectly situated for ass-shattering earthquakes.

Besides, an ad spruiking Coca Cola as having magical restorative powers can’t really do that much harm, right? If you’re dumb enough to believe that Coke is all the human body needs to sustain itself, you’ve probably already damn-near eaten yourself into an early grave on Jarred’s Subway diet.

No. Great. Loss.

In all seriousness, to donate to Red Cross Australia’s Haiti Relief Appeal, visit this website or call 1800 811 700.

Or go buy a Coke. I’m sure as soon as his Fizzy Drink Moneys comes in, Wismond will thank you.

BPM

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