10 years too late… the DEFINITIVE explanation of why Star Wars: The Phantom Menace SUCKED

'Nuff said

Cast your mind back to the distant past, way back when George Lucas’ prequels were still but a blip on the radar, and one’s love of ‘Star Wars’ felt justified, unsullied and pure?

And then in 1999, Uncle George crushed the dreams of millions and raped our collective childhood repeatedly with a dual light-saber. I’m talking ‘Phantom Menace’, people. God, did it hurt.

So when I found this at www.complicationsensue.blogspot.com, I felt like I had to re-post.

The 7 part review was made by ‘Mike from Milwaukee’. I’m not sure if Mike’s deliberately doing a George Lucas impression with his voiceover, but his analysis of ‘The Phantom Menace’  is incredibly well done, intelligent, well researched and pretty damn funny.

For example, when breaking down why the prequel’s characters suck, he asks a series of friends to briefly describe characters from the original trilogy, with results like:

Han Solo – ‘cocky’… ‘womanizer’… ‘arrogant’… ‘rogue-ish’… ‘but with a heart of gold’.

As compared to Liam Neeson’s character Qui Gon Jinn – ‘has a beard’… ‘stoic’… ‘beard’… ‘uhh’…

This is freaking great, but I don’t expect anyone to finish watching 1 episode, let alone all 7. Lets face it, we’re on the internet because we wanna know shit, we wanna know it now and we don’t want to spend more than 2.4 seconds absorbing it.

However if your days have as much downtime as mine, check it out. Be warned, some language may be NSFW.

BPM

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