The Immortal: There can be only one… Pete Doherty

What do you mean the pasty guy whose arms look like a kid's game of connect-the-dots might be carrying drugs? Are you sure???

Lord, where do we even begin…

Pete Doherty has escaped jail, even after police found 13 bags of heroin in his coat pockets during a court appearance this week in Gloucester.

Doherty’s explanation? He ‘accidentally’ left the heroin in one of his many coat’s at some point or another, and didn’t realize he was carrying until one fell out of his pocket during court proceedings. Hey, it happens to everyone at some time or another, right?

I personally am shocked… shocked that Pete’s actually making enough money from his ‘music’ to be able to comfortably misplace 13 bags of horse!

Doherty was fined all of about $1500 before being sent on his merry way by Judge Joti Joparai (all rise for the honorable Judge… oh… Joti… sorry). If you or I were to enter court carrying 13 bags of Skittles we’d expect a heavier sentence than that!

“Is there a reason you’re carrying such large quantities of Skittles, sir?”

“Hey man, relaaxxxx… here, taste the colors of the rainbow!”

Hmm... you make a solid point.

This whole Pete Doherty/drugs angle is either the world’s shittiest marketing ploy to distract people from what a crappy musician he is, OR he has the constitution of a cockroach/the Highlander/Keith Richards mega-hybrid. Dude, when even Keith is looking at you like you might have to slow down the partying, you may just want to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

This man is 32 years old

At the end of the day, if tabloid’s and trashy magazines are to be trusted (and who am I believe otherwise), Pete and his iron constitution managed to destroy Amy Winehouse’s career, her marriage and her sense of personal hygiene pretty much single-handedly.

And no one’s thought we could have convinced him to go get to know a Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift or Rihanna a little better instead?!? Hey, so long as we’ve got a Pete Doherty, we may as well try and use him constructively, right?

It’s just a thought. When life gives me lemons, I make lemonade is all I’m saying.

BPM

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