In defence of… sigh… Tony Abbott

Has anyone even bothered asking Tony 'Why the life-saver cap'???

A post I never thought I’d write…

First things first, lets clarify one thing; can’t say that I’m a Tony Abbott fan. Matter of fact I think his photo should likely be located in the dictionary under ‘furry-chested ass clown’.

Despite all that even I’m growing weary of the Abbott-bashing in the press. I understand it. But it’s just soooooo predictable and lowest common denominator-centric.

Various news sources are reporting today Tony has broken his vow never to be seen in budgie-smuggler’s again. The scary thing is that Tony’s swimming attire actually matters to some people.

This just a week after the last Abbott-gate scandal, when he was pilloried in the press for his ‘women should not throw away their virginity stance’. Every woman and her dog tore Abbott a new hymen for that little remark.

Sad thing is, though I wish he had said exactly that, what Abbott actually said when magazine ‘Women’s Weekly’ questioned him on advice for his daughters about sex before marriage was:

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question… it is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don’t give it to someone lightly, that is what I would say.”

So basically what he said was focused exclusively at his own daughters, not every woman in Australia.

And what it amounted to is what I’m sure every father would probably tell his daughter in the same situation, if asked for his advice. “Don’t root the first dickhead you meet, wait for someone special. Get me another VB”. Or something like that. S’what my old man told me, anyways.

Tony’s main problem is this:

What... haha... global... haha... warming... hoho

He is neatly pigeon-holed by lower-to-middle class Australia as an ‘Arrogant, stodgy, churchy dickhead’.

In much the same way as Julia Gillard…

After all, a female Deputy P.M's place IS in the... nope, not going there

Is a ‘Shrewish, childless, lesbo-in-waiting Feminist’. And old mate Kevin…

Bond. James Bond.

Is a ‘Nonsense-talking, incredibly boring, uber-nerd’.

Anything that can be used to cater to these specific stereotype will be used to cater to these specific stereotypes. That’s journalism, bitches.

I’m not trying to tell you Tony Abbott is a nice guy. I’m saying just relax. Give him time. Sooner or later he’ll say something for realsies that’s unequivocally dated, retarded and demeaning. And then we lynch him with a pair of Speedo’s.




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4 Responses to “In defence of… sigh… Tony Abbott”

  1. Righteous Schimmelbusch Says:

    That self-deprecation and lack of pretence are typical of the earthy style that enables Abbott to get close to his public in a way that many top politicos never do. But Crocs do that too – and see what casual Crocs Fridays hath wrought? People now have no problem wearing a glorified sponge on their feet to the theater, and Tony Abbott has no problem wearing a wooly Llama on his upper torso. What’s the adage about not having anything nice to say about hideous footwear or Tony Abbott?

    • buttonpushingmonkey Says:

      As always Righteous, I totally see your point… I think. Mark my words however, I have complete faith in Tony’s ability to eventually put said croc-wearin-foot in his big mealy mouth soon enough. It’ll probably be later this year when he announces his election platform of “Kill all Muslims, Faggots, Refugees, Abortionists, Indian students and journalists who are not Andrew Bolt”.
      On second thoughts, sadly there’s every chance that’ll appeal to more than 50% of Australian’s over voting age. Ahhhh shit…

  2. Righteous Schimmelbusch Says:

    I think 51% of Australian’s over 18 wear Crocs, so he’s a sure bet to win the primary vote. If he runs on the ‘Crocs for everyone’ platform, he’ll probably stretch that to 52%. I love my Crocs. I have the fake fur lined model. So stylish, and yet so comfortable. How did the world exist before they were invented?

  3. buttonpushingmonkey Says:

    In thongs. And somehow, we managed OK.

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