The imminent Animal Apocalypse & an amorous Reindeer: it just got personal…

Lions, dogs, monkeys, cats… just when you thought you’d heard it all, a new beast becomes part of this devious, planned coup d’etat against da humans.

A Norwegian reporter has been attacked by a horny reindeer whilst preparing for a television interview.

Marie Elise Nystad was with her cameraman when the ‘frisky’ reindeer leaped atop her shoulders, driving her to her knees in the cold, wet snow. Annnnnddd… cue Julie Andrews singing ‘Getting to Know You’.

The lesson to be learned here?

Never turn your back on a large animal with antlers, who obviously subscribes to Mike Tyson’s timeless creed, “I’m gonna fuck you til you love me”.

Santa Claus was real, kids. Then those 9 reindeer had a few too many drinks one night, got a little randy, and decided to work as one organized, sexual unit…

BPM

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2 Responses to “The imminent Animal Apocalypse & an amorous Reindeer: it just got personal…”

  1. Righteous Schimmelbusch Says:

    The wit of Mike Tyson never fails to be appropriate in any situation to do with violence, sex, religion or animals – or any combination of those elements.

    Personally, that reindeer starts fucking with me – I’d be quoting Iron Mike from the get-go “You’re not man enough to fuck with me! You can’t last two minutes in my world, bitch!.

    And then when the reindeer backed up, with a look of ‘what the fuck?” – hit the fucker with “”All praise is to Allah, I’ll fight any man, any animal. If Jesus were here I’d fight him too”.

    That reindeer just died of fright, right there in the snow.

    Who would have thought Tyson such a wordsmith, since he was at the extreme end of every nonsensical argument in the 90’s.

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