Jessica Simpson deserves to be taken seriously!

But I'm an Actress!

In an interview with Allure magazine, Jessica Simpson has emphatically stated that she will never, ever, EVER appear nude in a film or television show.

I will never do nudity… I don’t care if I frickin’ could get an Oscar for it, I’m not going to do it“.

That’s a direct quote. Yep, Jessica Simpson seriously thinks that appearing nude is what stands in the way of her receiving an Academy Award.

Personally…I think there’s other things you can do to show people that you have talent“. That one’s from an interview in 2005.

For those keeping score at home, this is a woman whose highest profile acting roles thus far have been:

  1. As herself on reality TV show ‘Newlyweds’, with then-hubby Nick Lache. It was all about being young, dumb, married and incomparably wealthy. Sadly we never got to see the proposed follow-up series, ‘Read the Pre-Nup again, Bitch’.
  2. And as a pair of hot pants in the ‘Dukes of Hazzard’ re-make, where she ranked lower on the acting food-chain than Stifler and a guy who got shot in the nuts with riot explosives on ‘Jackass’.

However, credit where credit’s due, Jessica IS the Meryl Streep of dry-humping/washing a car in a bikini…

Dare to dream the impossible dream, Ms. Simpson. I’ll stand behind you.

It’s an awesome vantage point, after all.



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2 Responses to “Jessica Simpson deserves to be taken seriously!”

  1. Righteous Schimmelbusch Says:

    You think I want to read about this pervy little supernatural soaplet without you yanking some John Mayer/douche analogy/statement out of thin air.

    This is not what I come to the table for. I want John Mayer hating!

    I want you to stand at the window, and shout “I can’t take John Mayer anymore!!!!!. He is a douche!!!!!!!!!

    And then tie it in loosely with any blog post about Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Anniston, white women, cock’s, racism, black people, guitar music, masturbation, sex, girlfriends, politics, religion – you know, basically anything that has ever existed.

    Are the wheels falling off the BPM John Mayer hater baiter skater trolley train?

  2. Liv Says:

    I can’t believe I just read a post AND comment by (presumably, sorry) 2 of the male species that didn’t involve the words…


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