Zombies were people too

Seems their thirst for brains is matched only by their thirst to set retarded world records

A landmark legal decision in the U.S, where an appeals court in Minnesota has granted a group of zombies the right to pursue a lawsuit against the police who arrested them for disorderly conduct.

OK, so they’re not real zombies. But people who choose to dress up as zombies have rights too, damn it!

The court heard that the group of 7 people/unpeople had been ‘wrongfully detained’ following their protest against consumerism at a local shopping mall in 2006.

When there is no room left on Earth... the dead will shop at Target

Police at the time justified their arrests by claiming that the protesters audio equipment (i.e loudspeakers and wireless phone handsets) were actually “simulated weapons of mass destruction”.

The zombies were held in jail for 2 days, and are now seeking damages of more than $50,000 U.S per Undead.

Breath a sigh of relief today folks, knowing that America is a society where even brain-munching monsters are afforded their constitutional rights.

And then stop and take a moment to realize that the U.S legal system was actually occupied for God knows how many hours deciding on a zombie’s right to free speech.

Are you going to sleep a little easier tonight, or worse?

Pass the Sominex, please…



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3 Responses to “Zombies were people too”

  1. Righteous Schimmelbusch Says:

    And yet when it comes to paying out medical insurance claims, too many insurance providers stall, balk and contest Zombie claims for even the smallest of flesh wounds.

    Not only must the new health care bill include the public option, but it needs to make a series of concessions to Zombies, acknowledging their particular & numerous health needs – and stop this bait-and-switch gibberish designed to take hard earned money out of working Zombies pockets, and stuff the wallets of the corporate bigwigs.

    We’re here. We’re Zombies. Get used to it.

  2. buttonpushingmonkey Says:

    It IS an election year… let’s see which major party here in Australia is prepared to lobby the hardest for the Z vote.

    Though some would argue the Liberals already are, and have been doing so for years.

  3. Righteous Schimmelbusch Says:

    Is Tasmanian Liberal Eric Abetz a Zombie?.

    This always seemed a rhetorical question to those in the Zombie know, not to mention that it is grammatically incorrect.

    Eric Abetz is a Zombie.

    Abetz’s list of enemies is long and broad in the land of the living, but let me tell you, us Zombies don’t think to kindly of him either.

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