Did you hear? Apparently Women are different from Men…

This subject has opted AGAINST the direct application, fortunately...

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw THIS was listed in the ‘Lifestyle’ section of ninemsn.com.au:

‘SPERM FACIAL’

On nine.msn? Really?!? With a headline like that, how do you not click?

Seems that a Norwegian company has synthesized a compound found in semen, which they claim is the ultimate new wrinkle-busting antioxidant. It’s taking off in the U.S, surprise surprise, where New York magazine has reported swanky (eww… maybe the wrong choice of word) health spa’s are now offering ‘spermine treatments’ to clients.

It probably won’t shock you to learn this is the most viewed article on the Lifestyle webpage this week, and probably of all time I’d assume. And despite not being much more than just crass, eye-catching fluff, the article still manages to scientifically prove two great truths about the human condition in less than 300 words;

  1. It seems there is no depth that women will not stoop to in their ongoing quest for youthful, vibrant looking skin, and
  2. One need only read the comments section at the bottom of the page to gain a real insight into the opportunistic depravity at the heart of 99.4% of men (.6% of men refused to complete my survey).

I’ll believe the hype when I see the new sperm-centric Neutrogena ad starring that chick from High School Musical.

BPM

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2 Responses to “Did you hear? Apparently Women are different from Men…”

  1. NM Says:

    I think I just threw up a little in my mouth….hey how about a vomit facial while you are at it? I am sure the stomach acid remnants would make a great chemical peel

    • buttonpushingmonkey Says:

      I’m willing to bet it’s already been… welllll suggested at least.

      Sad thing is this, Spud; if Sarah Jessica Parker, one of the most heavily made up and digitally altered actresses on the planet, did an ad tomorrow saying how youthful and revitalized Neutragena Spooge made her skin feel, it’d sell out in days.

      Can you then imagine all the poor exhausted, dehydrated male professors at the Ponds institute just trying to keep up?

      What a horrible world it could be…

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