Everything I know I learned from McLeod’s Daughters

Life on the farm... all sexy, all the time

Seems that all-Australian trade of being a Stockman has taken a hit lately, with people leaving the occupation in droves (no pun intended).

Apparently a new wave of young folk took to the profession a few years back, as hordes of people from the southern states moved north to help fill the shortage of Stock-people on cattle stations. They’re just as quickly leaving however, when life on the land proves to be a whole lot different to what they were expecting.

There’s even a name for the condition… Stockmen call it ‘McLeod’s Daughters-Syndrome’.

Seriously.

The fact that there are folks out there prepared to make that kind of life-change based on a TV horsey-drama… I know it shouldn’t surprise me, but  fact is… it still does.

And if you were going to base major life-choices on a TV show, why that one? Have these people ever really paid attention to the going’s on at Drover’s Run?! The Wife was a frequent viewer, and she duly reported that on this fictional cattle station in rural South Australia, characters died of heart attacks, multiple car accidents, a falling tree branch, drowning, falling off a cliff… Jesus, man… this idyllic little farm sounds like an OH&S nightmare!

But then, as the word ‘syndrome’ suggests, maybe these decisions are being heavily influenced by a medical condition. I’m sure for every patient diagnosed with ‘McLeod’s Daughters-Syndrome’, there are a dozen other conditions YOU, dear reader, could quite easily succumb to, depending on your viewing habits.

There’s Raymonditis… which prevents you from moving anywhere further than 50 metres from your parents house…

There’s Galactica disease… quite similar to Tourette’s, except you involuntarily yell “FRAK!” a lot…

There’s House syndrome… you basically just act like an asshole and limp…

Westwingsen’s… it makes you speak at twice your normal speed in nothing but acronyms…

Under Belly… a strange stomach ailment which somehow compels you to drop your pants and flash your bum at the slightest provocation…

And Horatio-Caine’s… in which the sufferer has an obsessive compulsive need to put on, then take off sunglasses, whilst uttering shitty one-liners to no one in particular…

Anyone afflicted with anyone of these conditions should seek medical help immediately at their nearest hospital.

But if you’re treated by an intern who seems constantly distracted by their own internal monologue, don’t worry… hopefully your treating physician just has a mild case of Scrubsis.

Come on! 9 patients died while you were internal monologue-ing, asshole!

Take care,

BPM

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4 Responses to “Everything I know I learned from McLeod’s Daughters”

  1. Righteous Schimmelbusch Says:

    McLeod Daughters syndrome can be reversed by listening to Kanye doing a PSA and re-mixing John Denver’s “Thank god in a country boy”. Why has the farmers Federation never thought of this?.

  2. Benjamin the Donkey Says:

    I once suffered for a week from Deadwooditis, where I called everyone “Cocksucker” and slept with thirteen prostitutes.

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