Define ‘Healthy Self Image’

Reports are emerging from that bastion of credibility, The Sun tabloid newspaper in the U.K, that a Kurt Cobain biopic is once again in the works. Bear in mind however that this is one of those stories that is ‘according to close sources’.

BUT, let’s face facts; were I to ignore all half truth’s, rumour and innuendo, there would be no BPM blog. So with that in mind, once more into the breach, dear friends.

Somehow, fading, drunken skin-Muppet Courtney Love has a lot of pull on this project, having been handed “considerable responsibility” by studio development exec’s at Universal Pictures (yeah… stellar move, fellas). Her first choices for key talent to attach to this film?

David Fincher (‘Fight Club’, ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’, ‘Se7en’) to direct. A good choice, he makes interesting films with a unique style and voice.

Robert Pattinson (swoon!) as the sad sack protagonist… OK… not quite sure about Cobain-as- sparkly-vampire, but I can see how this could draw an audience. It’ll never, ever, EVER happen, but… you know… whatever.

And to play the younger version of herself, Courtney’s leaning in this direction:

That’s right. ScarJo herself. Now, for those playing at home, THIS is what Courtney looked like on a good day during the Kurt years way back in the early 90’s:

No car crash, I’ll grant you. Not yet, anyhow. You had to wait another 7 or 8 years for that.

But still… if there’s ANY truth to these casting rumours whatsoever… what kind of ego does it take to suggest that the ideal actress to play a younger incarnation of yourself is one of the most attractive women on the planet?

Perhaps it says something about me that my choice to play me in the inevitable Monkey biopic would be someone capable of combining the on-screen charisma of Tommy Wiseau with the dashing good looks of Clint Howard.

In the highly unlikely event this incarnation of a Cobain film ever gets made, I’ll pay to go and see it. You should too.

Just don’t be rocked to your core when it turns out that the insanely hot Courtney with perfect skin and teeth also wrote ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’, played drums on ‘Lithium’ and single-handedly kick-started the Grunge revolution.

Ahhh, Movie Magic… it’s like a perfect cocktail of Tinkerbell’s pixie-dust and a dash of Rohypnol, all committed to celluloid.

Hoo-Ray for Ho-Lly-Woooooood!

BPM

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