The Biggest… umm… I’m not entirely sure…

Congratulations to Lisa Hose, the winner of this season of ‘The Biggest Loser’ on Channel 10.

Lisa managed to half her body weight over the course of the series, going from 121.9 kilograms…

You guessed it, this is the 'Before' picture

To a comparatively svelte 65.7 kilograms…

Not shown: 17 kilograms of excess skin

I’m sure the words ‘battler’, ‘incredible’ and ‘inspiration’ were bandied about more than a few times.

Congratulations Lisa! You did it! Now all you need to do to maintain the startling results of this physical transformation is abandon every aspect of your life that doesn’t involve training!

Job working with disabled children? Ditch it. Social life? Those slobs you used to hang around with have no idea how bad that glass of wine is for them! Two kids? Sorry, ignore em, you’ve got crunches to do!!!

"Now I've lost FOUR sizes, and I've never been happier!"

Now, please understand that I’m not belittling the effort and work ethic it must take to lose that amount of weight. But sustainable weight loss is reliant on a series of life changes. Teaching someone how to make a salad doesn’t cover all of these bases. What happens to the human body when over the course of six months it has come to depend on several hours of physical exercise, every day. Who can manage that AND maintain a life?

It ties in to why I thought this dude was a world-class douche:


In 2009, personal trainer Paul ‘PJ’ James decided he’d ditch his perfect, chiseled frame and stack on 40 kilograms of fat. He’d then have some life experience of what some of his clients dealt with every day, being unhealthily obese, before losing the weight through intense workouts and clever diet.

What a battler… incredible… an inspiration…

What PJ neglected to realize was that after reaching his peak weight of 120 kilograms, he would then have access to a gym. Every day. Where he is employed.

PJ doesn’t have children. He doesn’t work 40 hours a week as a chartered accountant. He doesn’t have to overcome an entire lifetime of accumulated esteem problems, body issues and shame. I gain no more inspiration from James than I would an amazing weight-losin’ robot.

As unsexy as it sounds, substantial weight loss is a very slow, drawn out process. We like the instant gratification concept of ‘The Biggest Loser’. We like the idea we could lose what amount to another human being in just 4 months or so. We like the idea of turning one’s life around, and being supremely fit. At least, we like eating chips and biscuits while we watch other people sweat profusely and jiggle. A lot.

Argue that it’s about changing your contestants ‘fitness’ levels forever and a day, Channel 10. But until you change the name and format of the show, you’re making a game show out of the long-term health of real people.

So don’t be outraged when they inevitably add a similar game show element to medical programs like ‘RPA’. We’ve been asking for it for a loooonnngggg time.

Ask and ye shall receive,



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One Response to “The Biggest… umm… I’m not entirely sure…”

  1. Benjamin the Donkey Says:

    Don’t be ridiculous, BPM. Next you’re going to suggest that it is unrealistic for me to build an extension to my house, knock up a deck, create a Bali-inspired garden and replace all my furniture in one single weekend with a budget akin to what an average person spends at a restaurant.

    Television – where even “reality” demands suspension of disbelief.

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