My Workplace #2

So, you’ve seen the kitchenette where the Dishwashing Faeries doth live.

But THIS is my true home away from home:

'Apologies for the resolution - I have an iPhone'... taking shitty pictures since '08

This is the Photocopy room at my current place of employ.

For those unaware, I work (for the time being, at least) as a ‘Script Coordinator’ in the fantasy realm of television. For those of you who envisioned a picturesque nouveau office o’ wonder… what can I say. Thirty year old carpet, spine crippling office chairs and faulty air conditioners are much more the S.O.P.

A Script Coordinator does many things…

  • He good-naturedly accepts abuse from cast members about their ‘missing’ scripts (missing = I can’t be bothered looking for it).
  • He apologizes in deferential tones to producers and panicked crew members when they ask why script amendments are yet to be released.
  • He fixes countless typo’s and logic errors (ie. a golf ‘stick’ doesn’t hit the ball down the ‘straight’).
  • He’s the generally the only person in the building who knows how to use screenwriting software (including the script writers and script editors), and
  • He photocopies. A lot.

I estimated that last week I photocopied somewhere in the vicinity of 30,000 + sheets of A4 paper.


As soon as that news report is released about how contemporary photocopying machines make you sterile, I’m boned.

A mate on another production in my building used to be a Script Coordinator also. He likes to tell me that he’s had a recurring dream for years that when he passes on from this life, and begins to wander through the pearly gates he’ll feel a hand fall upon his shoulder…

And a voice will say “Now… about all…THOSE…TREES!

I personally think that if his assumption proves to be correct, I can expect a reception something more akin to this:

In death we all visit Middle Earth

Yes. In this afterlife scenario I get fucked up by da walking trees from ‘Lord of the Rings’, and I’m either a fugly Orc or a gay Wizard.

What does that tell you about my sense of esteem?

Anyways, enough of this; I’ve got 3000 pages of green script amendments to copy by lunch…



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