Archive for May 11th, 2010

3D, we hardly knew ye

May 11, 2010

We were all there in December ’09 to witness the historic re-birth of 3D features…

Yeah, some movie called 'Avatar'. I never heard of it either...

And I think it’s pretty safe to say that as of the 27th of May 2010, in cinemas nationwide, we can “Bring out the coffin… Let the mourners come“.

Dat's right; ein Traum Bitches!!!

Remember when James Cameron promised that …soon audiences will associate 3D with the highest level of visual content in the market, and seek out that premium experience”?

I’m reasonably sure he wasn’t envisioning this incredible tech being used to show you how to pop’n’lock in another di-mension.

To paraphrase a wiser man than I, “We spend so much time asking ourselves whether we could do something, we don’t stop to ask whether we should“.

And that man… was Jeff Goldblum. In a Spielberg movie. About Dinosaurs.

Shit… Jurassic Park 4 in 3D… ? That’d rock sooooofreakin

Sorry, what were we talking about again?

BPM

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My local shopping centre: #5 – A Mother’s Day Special

May 11, 2010

Don't let the maternal, bovine-like gaze fool you...

I committed one of those cardinal shopping sins on the weekend…

I went to a major shopping centre last Saturday afternoon. For those unaware, Saturday was the day prior to Mother’s Day.

Shudder.

It was crowded and noisy and chaotic and shrill and 8 kinds of horrible. Just to exacerbate the horror was one of my real pet peeves: an overwhelming abundance of parents with prams. Now, let’s get one thing straight… THIS:

… is not a portable right-of-way symbol.

It does not give you the right to block whole shopping aisles, park your stroller sideways, or walk three prams abreast with the other members of your dead-eyed Mummy’s Club, like some ghastly western suburbs tribute to ‘Sex & the City’.

It’s not a trolley.

It does not entitle you to priority access to customer service staff.

It does not allow you carte blanche to cripple countless idiots like me by smacking full force into their Achilles tendon’s. Not even the day before Mother’s Day.

Alls it proves is that you are physically capable of breeding, and then subsequently wasting hours of my time by parking your spawn into a stroller the size of a Hummer, DIRECTLY IN MY DESIRED PATH.

Yes, looking after the adorable lil’ cabbages you and hubby thwumped out is a huge responsibility. But it doesn’t absolve you from shit like basic levels of respect and common courtesy for your fellow shoppers.

Even the sad, non-breeders. Like Monkey.

Oh, and Happy Mother’s Day, Ma!

BPM