The TV police are coming to gitcha

This will probably be a little sprawling, but bear with me, please.

Da Authorities

Anzac Day came and went this year, and for an Essendon supporter like myself, way too much of the day focused around the AFL.

Well… at least for the first quarter… friggin Collingwood…

What was especially notable about Channel 7’s coverage of the game, and earlier the morning services, was their commitment to cross-promoting ‘The Pacific’ whenever and wherever the opportunity might arise.

I mean, I dig that score by Hans Zimmer too, but playing it non-stop for 3+ hours? I’m sure if Channel 7 had their way not only would they have flown cast members in to appear at the dawn service, but Joseph Mazello would also have lined up at Centre Half Forward for the Bombers.

Might be worth actually considering Joey M, Essendon. This dude has already schooled Velociraptors AND Jap's... you barely beat Carlton this season

“Yes, we’re here to commemorate the incredible sacrifice so many men and women made for our country. But surely we can kill two Jap’s with one stone… right?”

In between spruiking the next incredible installment of the most expensive television series ever made TM, Channel 7 did go out of their way to point out some of the other quality viewing they have lined up in 2010. One of these promo’s, with dramatic thumping music and voice-o-God narration, almost made me fall off my couch giggling.

Australia, prepare yourself for… ‘THE DOG SQUAD’!

It’s exactly what it sounds like: a reality based show about a police dog squad. For half an hour. Over several weeks.

It just sounded so much like some of the mock television shows ’30 Rock’ has created (‘America’s Next Top Pirate’, anyone?). But apparently, ‘The Dog Squad’ has enough of an audience to screen it at 7:30pm on a weeknight. Who knew?

Not only does ‘The Dog Squad’ have the juice to get up and air on a regular basis, but it’s not even the only dog-squad related program currently airing (see ‘Send in the Dogs’ on Channel 9).

One look at a programming guide is enough to make you weep when it comes to the amount of procedural, bust-your-ass reality TV brought to you by Channel’s 7 & 9 alone. How’s THIS for a roll call:

‘The Dog Squad’, ‘Surf Patrol’, ‘Trauma’, ‘Customs’, ‘Send in the Dogs’, ‘Highway Patrol’, ‘R.P.A’…

Channel 9 even has 2 MORE shows waiting to air. They are ‘A.F.P’, which focuses on the Australian Federal Police obviously. The other? ‘R.B.T’.

‘R.B.T’ is a half hour series about Random Breath Testing.

While I personally subscribe to the idea that if I don’t likes it, I don’t watches it, I STILL can’t help but feel irked by this kind of shitty television.Because do I feel like we live in a ‘Nanny’ state nowadays? Hell yeah. And how are we to effect real societal change? Is it by more stringently enforcing laws? Harsher penalties? A greater police presence?

Nope. Nope. And nope. Instead lets just air these crappy TV shows about how you WILL get busted the second you deviate from dead-eyed obedience, as soon as you step out of line at the airport, the pub, on the roads, in hospital, etc (provided there’s a camera around, of course).

And then, THEN we can just trust to hope that keeping the people in a constant state of fear via ‘entertainment’ and the media will be enough.

Cos that’ll work. It has to. Right.


People don’t even realize that there’s an attempt being made to indoctrinate them. And the police don’t seem to realize that you can broadcast as many shows as you want to ‘educate’ the public – so long as ‘Underbelly 24′ keeps pulling in a million plus viewers a week with stories about crim’s and crooked cop’s who are above the law, it’s all for naught.

And in the interim it means that I have to wait til 11pm on a good night to watch non-important broadcasting like ’30 Rock’, ‘The West Wing’ or ‘The Wire’.

‘COPS’, you’ve got a lot to answer for.

See, that clip kind reinforces my point, but in Spanish. Classy, no?

Latino Snake rocks,



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