I’m not sure my car insurance covers that…

Suspect was a six-foot tall Caucasian male, blond, pale, kinda sparkly and real whiny...

News reports, State-side…

MORON WATCH!

A Colorado woman who ran her car into an open canal this week near the small town of Fruita told police that the accident wasn’t her fault –

She was forced to crash her vehicle to escape from a vampire.

Apparently seeing Lestat in the middle of a rural dirt road caused the terrified woman to instinctively throw her 4WD into reverse, which led to her supernatural traffic incident. She immediately phoned her husband, who rescued her before calling the authorities.

No, not him

Somehow the police have said that they do not believe drugs or alcohol are in any way involved.

Huh…

Is it wrong that I’m glad I ain’t married to this chick, but think it would be fun as shit to at least hang out for a while?

“Where’s the pizza you were going to pick up?”

“Uhh… Leprechauns stole it!”

“And why are you wearing your shoes on the wrong feet?”

“Zombies made me!”

BPM

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