Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos

The Federal Election debate has been and gone, once again making a complete mockery of the phrase ‘televised event’. Whilst most polls taken in the immediate aftermath of the special indicated a Julia Gillard victory, perhaps a Nil-All draw was a far more accurate depiction of the results.

What did we learn over the course of an hour?

  • That Julia Gillard has droopy ear lobes. Really droopy. Cartoon character droopy.

    The red hair was a diversionary tactic all along...

  • And that Tony Abbott appears to have abandoned ‘No Big New Taxes’ as a catchphrase in favour of the far more appealing ‘Stop The Boats’. Incidentally he’s going with ‘Stop The Boats’ because ‘Fuck The Brown People’ could be interpreted as being racist… somehow? I know, ‘Crazy Liberals’, with their ‘Liberal Agendas’, and 100+ word vocabularies and such…


What’s becoming increasingly clear is how much the media wants YOU to believe that this election is some political variant of the radio competition ‘Battle of the Sexes’, and nothing more. Men like Tony Abbott cause he has a penis, Women like Julia Gillard because she don’t. And never the twain shall meet.

What better example is there than ’60 Minutes’ post-debate analysis, where our political pundits of choice were:

Laurie Oakes, one of Australia’s most respected and foremost political commentators, with more than 30 years of journalism experience.

And this woman…

Helen McCabe, editor of ‘Australian’s Women’s Weekly’ magazine.

Urgh. Now, I don’t have a problem with McCabe appearing – before becoming the woman responsible for cracking journalism like ‘Double-Dry Winter Hair‘, McCabe was actually a political journalist of significant clout.

It was just that Channel 9 never went to any effort to present her as such. Instead, much more emphasis was placed on her role at ‘Women’s Weekly’, which to me says they’re doing their best to convince Australia that she’s more qualified to speak on the debate results as a woman, than as someone who has been part of the Federal Parliamentary Press Gallery, who also hosted television programs like ‘Playing Politics’ on Sky News.

News Flash, peeps:

I don’t care what gender the candidates are. I don’t care which religion. I don’t care if they’re childless, purple martians with 8 dicks who are also devout atheists. I care for what they (claim) to stand for.

You’re not going to scare me off voting for a Julia Gillard because I’d be letting the brotherhood down, and because I might catch girl germs.

Sadly, as is so often the case, this election’s going to come down to who the people dislike least, plain and simple.

Ain’t democracy grand?



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One Response to “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos”

  1. Benjamin the Donkey Says:

    If everybody voted on gender lines, the sexually ambiguous Lady Gaga would be an unbackable favourite in any election.

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