Someone find Paris Hilton some Juicy Fruit

The world’s most mentally deficient heiress continued to raise the stupidity bar this weekend.

Getting arrested for cocaine possession in Las Vegas is impressive, but her subsequent explanation to police officers, that she thought the coke in her purse was chewing gum


According to Nevada law, she could face up to 4 years in prison and a $5000 fine.

She could.

In theory, she could also behave like the rest of the humans, or cure cancer, or do something worthwhile with her life.

She could. But she wont.

In a world where Charlie Sheen gets a dirty look for nearly stabbing his wife, and where Lindsay Lohan’s various drug and alcohol offenses necessitate a prison term shorter than most head colds I’ve caught…

A penalty for cocaine possession, after also being charged for marijuana possession in South Africa AND Cannes in the past two months?

Don’t make me LOLZ!

Nevertheless, I thank thee, Paris Hilton.

Even though your very existence reminds us on a daily basis that the rich, famous and irredeemably stupid live very different lives, in a different world, with different rules…

At least now when we refer to you as a ‘Coke-Whore’, we can sleep easy knowing that legally we’re twice as correct as we were a week ago.



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2 Responses to “Someone find Paris Hilton some Juicy Fruit”

  1. John C Says:

    I’m inclined to think that nothing of real consequence comes out of this. This girl has been in trouble before and came out ok. I suppose that if you’re rich and famous, life is already different for you, i.e. Vera Wang shoes, Vegas grand openings, and expensive cars like Bugatti Veyron are merely toys. But public opinion is also forgiving.

    • buttonpushingmonkey Says:

      One could argue that nothing of real consequence comes from anything Paris Hilton does, or has ever done.

      Is public opinion forgiving because we’ve come to expect nothing but mental midgetry from Paris? Or have we become increasingly forgiving of ALL celebrity scandal? I know a dude named Mel Something Something that’d love to know…

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