Great Scot! The philosophical implications of Nike McFly’s?

Geeks around the world, rejoice!

Because those sweet-ass Nike’s from ‘Back to the Future 2’… the ones with the power-laces?

They might be closer than you think…

Nike has filed a patent for a design extremely close to the kicks Marty McFly wore in 2015, which would in theory be powered by a USB chargeable battery.

See! It was THAT simple all along!

Nice…

It’s odd, but for some reason to nerds like us the future tech of ‘Back to the Future’ is still more exciting than 99% of the science fiction movies that have been released in the past 30 years.

Those magic computer touchy screens from ‘Minority Report’? Meh.

Assorted gadgetry from the ‘real world’ in the Matrix trilogy? Does any of it really balance out constantly living in fear of da robots and having to wear a hessian sack 24/7?

I like me some of the assorted weaponry from ‘Aliens’ or ‘Terminator’, but death by either Robot or Xenomorph is a high price to pay for a pulse rifle.

And sure, we’d all like an Avatar, but can you really join the Na’vi if you ain’t the outdoor-sy type?

Yeah! You guys go fight the humans... I'll be over here on this couch... umm... guarding our magical tree

As a rule I don’t lust after any of this future gadgetry… but point me towards a fluorescent pink hoverboard and I go as weak at the knees as a tween at a Justin Bieber concert.

Power laces… hoverboards… flying cars… “your jacket is now dry”… ‘Jaws 19’ directed by Max Spielberg… it’s Nerd-vana.

And it only gets stranger when you actually objectively analyze the way that movie presented the future to us.

  • It’s a world where nostalgia is feted and ruthlessly exploited (the Cafe 80’s), where financial inflation has reached exorbitant levels.
  • Crappy movie sequels are being endlessly churned out in 3D (sound familiar?).
  • Cosmetic surgery is so commonplace that 15-year-old Jennifer passes for her 45-year-old self.
  • Road rage is endemic. In fact, people are still as snarky and angry at one another as they were in 1955.
  • The justice system is brutal and swift (“…now they’ve abolished all lawyers”), but not nearly as swift as the changing weather patterns that we can only assume are a result of man’s effect upon the environment.
  • The McFly home, with it’s re-hydrating pizza oven, multi-channel TV and thumb-scan door locks is full of shitty malfunctioning appliances, and the house itself is located in a real shady part of town that the cops have given up trying to protect.

And you know what? All these darker aspects of the year 2015 are quite obviously the film-makers intent! They’re meant to reflect the hopelessness of Marty McFly’s life: Hill Valley mirrors his failed potential as a musician and as a man. Robert Zemeckis never intended for us to fetishize his version of 2015, but GenX especially has somehow interpreted this future as a positive one!

What does it tell you that, as a group, we’re so lazy that not having to tie our shoelaces or dry our clothes is enough to counter-balance living in a consumer driven culture that’s spiritually, emotionally and philosophically in a permanent state of arrested development?

I don’t care where we’re headed as species, so long as my flying car takes me there. Right?

Or perhaps I’m reading too much into a series of movies where “I hate manure” was played as a critical plot point.

OK, I’m definitely reading too much into it.

Nevertheless, dear reader, remember even as you open your purse strings or access your PayPal account…

Buy your Nike McFly’s. Ride your Mattel hoverboard.

But never forget what the things we own really say about us.

And that those boards won't work on water... unless you got POW-WAHHH!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be living in the past where I belong – carrying around a disappearing/reappearing photo of my siblings as I try desperately not to have sex with my mother.

Because those were simpler times.

BPM

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2 Responses to “Great Scot! The philosophical implications of Nike McFly’s?”

  1. Lula Says:

    In LA when you go to Universal Studios, you get to see a REAL LYFE HOVER BOARD!!! :O (fyi – by ‘hoverboard’ i mean painted plank of wood :((( )

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