Nick Riewoldt’s penis goes viral

Pictured: Nick Riewoldt, Footy Shorts

Ewww… feel like you’re gonna catch something nasty just touching your keyboard now, huh.

The St. Kilda football club has gone into “damage control” after naked photos of 1… sorry, 2…

3?

14?

126 footballers were posted on a teenage girl’s Facebook page yesterday.

The AFL stars already identified (they record metrics for everything at AFL draft camps these days…) include Saints captain Nick Riewoldt, Nick Dal Santo and Zac Dawson.

Rumour has it that the teenage girl is posting the photos out of revenge, and that she has over a dozen more candid snaps waiting to be ‘exposed’.

The AFL is worried. St. Kilda is worried. Hell, at the rate they’re going Darrel Baldock might show up on this girl’s camera-phone with his ruck-rover hanging out, and he retired in 1968!

"Alright chaps, when the lady says smile we all pull out our todgers and shake them for the camera simultaneously... splendid!"

Bear in mind however that this is the same girl who accused a St. Kilda player last year of potentially being the father of her unborn child. And that, at 17, she’s admittedly slept with more than a few AFL footballers. Oh, and she had sex with one of the police officers investigating her paternity claim, and he’s since been stood down from the police force.

BUT she claims she didn’t have sex with Riewoldt, Dawson or Dal Santo. They just asked her to take a photo of their gear, then delete them.

She didn’t delete them.

St. Kilda are currently doing their best to minimize damage to their club brand, explore legal channels, hold press conferences, protect their player’s rights, and —

Maybe they should tell their players not to have sex with, or flash their genitals at 17-year-old girls?

Now, now, lets not be hasty.

Because if being an AFL footballer means you no longer get to have random sex with stupid underage girls, then who’d want to even play the game anymore???

BPM

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