Status Update is not your Private Journal

It’s not Dear Diary.

It’s not your shrink, your closest confidante or your family.

And yet one can’t go near Facebook these days without reading at least one desperate cry for attention.

“Hurting so much rite now, wish I could stop the pain”.

“Can’t get through the darkness, wish I could see the light”.

“Life seemz so meaningless, my soul is dead”

And so on…

It’s an entire generation who can only express themselves in the words of a teenage girl / Emo / Taylor Swift ballad about heartbreak, loss and regret.

Could someone with a little stroke at FB get in touch with Mark Zuckerberg, maybe get them working on that ‘Obligatory Sympathy’ button to go next to ‘Like’ and ‘Comment’?

Or better yet, is there any chance people could exercise a little discretion and talk to someone in person about whatever it is that hath torn their soul asunder, rather than broadcast their unendurable pain (TM) to all 246 of their absolute besties?

No, I didn’t think so either.

One can dream though.



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3 Responses to “Status Update is not your Private Journal”

  1. The Pop Culture Pimp Says:

    Melodrama is not for the faint hearted, and certainly deserves it’s own button.

    What with the caps lock key being phased out and all, there’s a 1/2 inch x 1 inch piece of realestate with destructive self-incompetence written all over it.

    I do however object to your cheap mockery of Taylor Swift.

    I believe that God sends us wisdom and speaks with us through his preferred method of communication – cliches’.

    Ergo, Taylor Swift is God.

    Besides, Taylor is a nice girl. She is like a nice highway. A highway you would tell your friends about. A highway with good manners and a few freckles.

    • buttonpushingmonkey Says:

      Well well, the prodigal son returns… welcome back Righteous.

      I understand your compulsion to defend Taylor, really I do. After all, she is one artist who


      speaks to the human condition…

      Providing the human condition solely revolves around having a crush on a boy but not being able to tell him about it… or about having a crush on a boy who has a crush on someone else… or about having a crush on a boy when you’re still going steady with another boy… or about having a crush on a boy even though you know he’s only going to break your heart… or about having a crush on a boy and…

      I can mock her all I want, but at the end of the day she’s doinked the wolfboy from Twilight AND Donnie Darko. In the game of life she was a winner a loooooonnnnng time ago compared to the Monkey.

  2. The Pop Culture Pimp Says:

    A whole motley crue of boy crushes now equals the human condition, as long as Taylor uses her vagina like a hammer, and every boy is a nail.

    This must be how she is able to write songs that sound like pidgeons shitting in her brain.

    I personally prefer the sublime illeration of 2 Live Crew in their instant human condition classic ‘Me so horny’

    “I’ll fuck all the girls in Dodge and make ’em cry”.

    They don’t sculpt human condition masterpieces like they used to Monkey.

    I’m thinking of having a heart attack……

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