Aguilera-ing

Adj –

To over-sing the simplest of songs, to stretch single notes without meaning or purpose.

There’s been much froo fraw over Christina Aguilera’s rendition of the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ pre-game at the NFL Superbowl. Strangely it’s revolved almost entirely around the fact that she got the lyrics wrong, rather than the fact she once again displayed the innate ability to turn a simple, 90-second song into what felt like a 4 and a half-minute extravaganza.

Much like this:

You can sing.

Loudly.

We get it.

Of greater concern to me was the fact that Xtina seems to be slowly morphing into a Glenda the Good Witch of the North shadow-image of ‘Jersey Shore’s Snooki.

Am I showing my age if I tell you that the most prominent hot pop stars of my youth were good ol’ dirrrrrrty Christina, Britney (of course)…

and Jessica…

Take heed Rihanna, Katy, Ke$ha:

All the money in the world, your private chef, personal trainer, a nip here, a tuck there, the odd quirky marriage and an entourage numbering in the thousands… all of these things combined still can’t halt time, or stop your barrel-full o’crazy from eventually flooding out.

Thanks to 20/20 hindsight it seems easy now to see that Pink, of all people, was going to age a hell of a lot better than her Top 40 counterparts.

Hmm…

Britney… Christina… Jessica… and Snooki: The World Tour 2013!

I best start drinking now if I want to be sufficiently sloppy and sentimental by show time.

Forever yours as I leave you imagining a rendition of the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ with that 4-part harmony…

BPM

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