The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo… and the awesome hoodie… and vintage skinny jeans… and matte black nail polish… and…

We’re so unique and original, the six of us…

See if you can follow me here:

In 2010 Sony announces they’re moving forward with an American remake of Swedish novel / film ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’…
 
BOO!
 
They sign David Fincher to direct it.
 
YAY!
 
In the search for an actress to play the role of tortured (both literally and figuratively) protagonist Lisbeth Salander, names tossed around include Ellen Page, Natalie Portman… and Scarlett Johansson?
 
BOO!
 
Eventually they settle on Rooney Mara, pair her up with Daniel Craig, and get to shooting.
 
A few months ago we get this kickass trailer:
 
 
YAY!
 
And a surprisingly bold and controversial one-sheet poster design…
 

Double yay!

And then, just as you were starting to think maybe this whole American remake idea might truly be in keeping with original intent and spirit of the book…

‘H&M to release official Girl With The Dragon Tattoo clothes’

That’s right… a clothing collection with “the dark urban feel that defines” Lisbeth Salander.

That DEFINES Lisbeth Salander.

The main character of a novel whose original title in Swedish roughly translates to ‘Men Who Hate Women’.

A character who we learn:

  • As a child watched her father beat her mother until she received permanent brain damage
  • Was beaten at school by other, larger children, mostly boys
  • Was sent to Psychiatric Hospital for most of her youth by a corrupt male Doctor
  • Was raped and sodomized by her legal guardian as a young woman, and
  • Was almost murdered by a male serial killer who is revealed to have killed countless woman over several decades

Bear in mind that this is all in ‘Dragon Tattoo’, book ONE in Stieg Larsson’s Millennium trilogy.

And as someone who’s read all three… things don’t get a hell of a lot easier for Salander thereafter.

You're wondering where you can buy a pair of those gloves RIGHT NOW, aren't you?

I’m going to go out on a limb here, and assume that I personally am not part of the target demographic for this particular clothing line. And I’ve been more than willing to concede on this blog several times in the past that the female mind remains now, as ever, impenetrable to me.

But am I really supposed to believe that there are women out there who are skimming through paragraph after paragraph in the Millennium trilogy murmuring “Sodomy… yadayada… secret police… dadada… Stockholm… blahblahblah… come on, when it’s going to say what she’s wearing?!?!?!

If that’s enough to send you shopping ladies, then you should head out to your local Blockbuster and rent a copy of ‘The Accused’ this weekend – because Jodie Foster’s vintage retro skirt in that scene would look sooooo awesome with the right singlet and pair of flats! Right!

Right?

BPM

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