Archive for November, 2011

JB’s… You’ve done it again!

November 30, 2011




Kyle Sandi-Brand

November 25, 2011

Not even poor... a DESTITUTE man's Howard Stern

I’ve watched with interest the past few days as the Australian media has once again eviscerated radio shock-DJ Kyle Sandilands for some shit he said that was (insert any combination of the following: offensive, appalling, disgusting, racist, sexist, misogynist, ignorant, foolish, ridiculous, feeble-minded, bone-headed, xenophobic, cruel or laughable).

The story goes something like this…

Kyle and his co-host/giggle-monkey Jackie O presented a variety show on Australian TV earlier in the week. Filmed in Sandilands home base of Los Angeles, it featured such celebrities as… umm… welllll…

Said show does a less than inspiring number ratings-wise, a fact that’s gleefully reported far and wide.

Kyle takes aim the following day at his critics, in particular at News Ltd journalist Alison Stephenson. Amongst his comments were gems like:

“Some fat slag on has already branded it a disaster. You can tell by reading the article that she just hates us and has always hated us”

“What a fat bitter thing you are. You’re deputy editor of an online thing. You’ve got a nothing job anyway. You’re a piece of shit”

“This low thing, Alison Stephenson, deputy editor of online. You’re supposed to be impartial, you little troll”

“You’re a bullshit artist, girl. You should be fired from your job. Your hair’s very ’90s. And your blouse. You haven’t got that much titty to be having that low cut a blouse. Watch your mouth or I’ll hunt you down”

Just 8 kinds of pleasant, huh?

Cue the media furore, and 423,796 news articles that all featured the words ‘Kyle’, ‘Vile’, and/or ‘Bile’.

And now we stand here in the aftermath, with sponsors of the ‘Kyle and Jackie O Show’ jumping ship left, right and centre. Kyle, as always, remains unrepentant. In his own mind apparently he’s a champion for the right to free speech… a right that’s American, NOT Australian incidentally, but whatever. Maybe he and Andrew Bolt can start some kind of club?

Comments sections on The and the are flooded. Head-shaking tut tut editorials are still being produced. Jackie O remains as useless as ever…

Funny how the composition of a photo can kinda mirror their relative contributions to the radio show, huh?

And through it all I can’t help but notice that one thing is being forgotten in all this.

The TV show. That sucked. That was an epic failure.

By simply acting like Kyle Sandilands, Kyle has managed to sweep under the rug a hugely detrimental strike against his foray into television. Yes, he’s behaved like a pig, but that’s all in service of his already established brand.  

Honest question – do you REALLY think that this is going to be bullet that finally puts this douchebag’s career down???

Sure, the general public think he’s a fat, ignorant, woman-hating bully… but how is that any different to what you thought of him last week? Last month? Or 2 years ago, after he infamously asked a 14-year-old girl on air who revealed that she’d been raped several years previously “…is that the only experience you’ve had?” 

Yeah, I had no real reason for including this photo - I just wanted to

King Kyle served up a turkey (on the eve of America’s Thanksgiving no less), and STILL managed to remain on the front page of newspapers all over the country for 2 or 3 solid days.

Let’s face facts:

Kyle Sandilands is an idiot. A complete frigging asshole. But THAT’S his brand. And all the Australian media’s poo-pooing this week accomplished was to strengthen that brand.

So who’s really the idiot here?


Another reason why Patton Oswalt rules

November 23, 2011

Because yes, you CAN make me stand in the background of the opening scene of this ep of ‘The King of Queens’, AND give me absolutely nothing to do…

Just don’t be surprised if when you do, I stand there like a motionless cypher, tripping balls through a parallel galaxy that’s allll in my mind.

Check out from 0:34 to about 1:26 of that clip.


For a slightly better representation of Patton’s comedy stylings, maybe give this clip a whirl:

Ahhh, the ol’ sky cake dodge…


But… but… 6 seasons and a movie?!

November 18, 2011

And to think there are moments when I actually wonder why it is that I feel so disenfranchised from the rest of da humans.

Over in the States NBC made it official this week at the release of their mid-season TV schedule – ‘Community’ has been temporarily pulled from its lineup (it’s been replaced by the new season of ’30 Rock’).

So ‘Community’ gets yanked after two and a half seasons, but ‘Two and a Half Men’ is currently sailing through season number 9???

You made Donald Glover cry... I hope you're happy!

I’d say not to panic, that this is nothing to worry about… but we ‘Arrested Development’ fans have been through all of this before.

For those of you who may have missed ‘Community’, and gauging by its ratings that’s more than a few of you, this is great television comedy. Well acted, scripted, directed, cast and performed, it’s that rarest of beasts – a smart network sitcom.

So what chance did it have?

There are online petitions, poster campaigns, twitter handles… but lets face facts – if any of that shit actually counted for anything we’d currently be enjoying season 9 of ‘Firefly’ right now.

So until the death-blow is struck, let us cling to whatever hope remains. And remember folks, they may cancel our favourite television programs…

But they can’t take away our Troy and Abed in the morrrrr-ning…

One of the greatest tongue-in-cheek montages of ALL TIME…

Or our completely healthy and totally understandable crush on Alison Brie…

Lord... where was I?

It’s enough to make a guy up and quit on television… AND I WORK IN THE TELEVISION INDUSTRY!!!

What does that tell ya?

Sigh… if you need me I’ll be in one of Abed’s alternate timelines, 


Game of Game of Thrones

November 11, 2011

Because the only problem with this clip…

… is the fact that I can’t play this game RIGHT NOW!