Juiced Newton


from The Age.com.au

Just… wow.

Because you just know a guy has SERIOUS issues when he (allegedly) repeatedly punches a 66-year-old taxi driver, and your initial response is “Well… at least he punched a dude this time and not another woman”.

Legal ‘experts’ predict a prolonged, court-ordered period of hospitalization is on the cards for Newton.

My advice, for what it’s worth, Matt?

If that offer IS on the table, then you take it. Take it now. Take it yesterday, for Gods sake.

Because if you can’t find a way to get these punchy demons under control, and you were to really face the legal consequences of repeated incidents of assault…

Well… lets just say that if every prison movie I’ve seen has taught me anything, it’s that a young, affluent white guy with your background would probably be nicknamed ‘Patti’ within a week, even if that wasn’t actually already his mother’s name.



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2 Responses to “Juiced Newton”

  1. Benjamin the Donkey Says:

    For a guy who would probably lose in a pub fight with mid-pubescent teenage boy (hence the punching of women and the elderly), it’s only a matter of time before he tries to hit somebody capable of hitting back. Can a court order him to pick on someone their own size? It’d make good television.

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