Archive for January, 2012

The Politically Incorrect Guide to a Career in Film

January 30, 2012

From James Gunn's Facebook page

Scary accurate, huh. Can you tell James Gunn is a writer / director?

See, I knew I was missing something… ‘exceptional literary talent’… but it’s not too late to still develop that whole bag o’ tricks, right?



Lionel Richie never sounded so creepy

January 20, 2012

Thanks Evan!


And the award for ‘Best Award in an Awards Show’ goes to…

January 16, 2012

Somehow its Hollywood Awards season again already… and am I the only one who doesn’t feel like he’s actually seen an Oscar Winning MovieTM yet this year???

Let me know your thoughts…

Oh, and for my fellow Australians, a quick reminder:

In the parlance of our national media, Guy Pearce didn’t lose today at the Golden Globes. Australians never lose. Aussies are always ‘snubbed’, apparently.

It’s the antithesis of more than 1 Australian winning an award in any given year, where we’re told that Australians are ‘taking over Hollywood’.

Which makes Hollywood the France of global business industries, I guess.

Suck on zat, Américain!


The Phantom Marketing

January 8, 2012

It’s fair to say I spent more than a little time at my local cinema this Xmas break, where amongst other things I managed to catch ‘Tintin’ (not bad), ‘Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ (as unflinching as you’d expect), and ‘Sherlock Holmes 2’ (lightweight, but fun).

What caught my eye though with every passing visit was the increasing amounts of standees, posters and promotional materials for this obscure, indie space-western you might have heard of…

Because you may not always be able to polish a turd, but you CAN convert it to 3D apparently

 Notice anything missing at all?

I’ll give you a hint – remember this piece of promo art from the original release 12 or so years ago?

Hey yeah… wasn’t there an annoying-as-fuck kid in that flick? Now THAT’S pod-racing, n’shit?

** shrugs **

Ah well, maybe it’s just the poster that features Darth Maul a little more prominently than perhaps necess –

Huh… I could’ve sworn… let’s backtrack a little.

There! See, yes, Darth Maul might be lurking in the background, but I KNEW that movie had an annoying kid, and Liam Neeson with a terrible beard, and Natalie Portman with god awful make-up and hair, and…


Settle down, Monkey. It’s not like Mr. Lucas to try to rewrite cinema history or anything. I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why the new poster and standee don’t accurately reflect the actual movie, and it’s a concern that will be rectified as soon as more promotional materials are…


‘Star Wars: Just Give Me Your Fucking Wallet’ hits cinemas in Australia on February 9th, kiddies. Book your tickets now for the alt cut of Phantom Menace with no child actors, terrible make up or Gungan special-needs characters.

On second thoughts that movie actually sounds not too bad…