Archive for July, 2012

Wha’ Happened?!?

July 20, 2012

It’s way too late to look surprised, Fred

The age of the internets, and the 24 hour news cycle… she giveth, and she taketh away…eth.

I’m a huge fan of Fred Willard’s improv work, especially his roles in various Christopher Guest films like ‘A Mighty Wind’ and ‘Best in Show’. Which is why it’s such a bummer to hear he was arrested this week for masturbating in an adult theatre in Los Angeles.

Before you immediately jump onboard the “Masturbating in an adult theatre?!?! How quaint” bandwagon, bear in mind the fact that Fred is 72 years old. Maybe working out how to traverse the world of internet porn is beyond his comprehension at this point. I know that whenever my Dad needs to update Mozilla Firefox I need to drive to his place and very slowly walk him through the clickies. And he’s 10 years younger than Willard.

Plus I guess when you really think about it, and take into account Fred’s age, you have to believe that this wasn’t a spur of the moment act. There’s probably a fair degree of planning and preparation that goes into… uhh… his ‘performance’. So in a way he’s lucky the police didn’t consider this a pre-meditated act.

It manages to qualify as one of the few sordid celebrity acts that I really didn’t need to know about. But in an age when we know all about Miley’s latest tattoo before the ink is even dry, what chance does anyone have of keeping their peccadilloes private anymore?

And no, I didn’t just use the word ‘peccadillo’ as a euphemism for Willard’s wang.

I think…

Am I suddenly yearning for a return to olden days, when tales of Hollywood Babylon-esque depravity were kept off the record, on the QT, and very hush hush? Probably not – if they were, what the hell would I write about? Am I simply allowing my affection for Fred Willard to cloud my customary Schadenfreude in celebrating the pratfalls and fuck-ups of the Lohan’s and Kardashian’s of the world?

I guess (cue Doogie Howser-music and typing sound effect) the lesson to be learned here is that the freedom to pick and choose which celebrities disgrace themselves in public is truly out of my hands.

But not out of Fred’s.

God damn it…



Carly Rae Cookie Monster

July 10, 2012

Because I’m now so old that I invariably prefer the Sesame Street / Muppet parody version to practically ANY Top 40 pop song.

If you can find me another contemporary musician that can successfully rhyme ‘Snickerdoodle’, maybe I’ll reconsider.



Well… what would YOUR stand-off demands be?

July 10, 2012



When Frederick Denny barricaded himself into a New York hotel room this weekend and threatened to shoot police officers, he decided to aim high when negotiators asked him just what it was that he wanted.

His response? As the headline says, he wanted a pizza.

Oh, and the hand in marriage of millionaire socialite Paris Hilton.

So he aimed high… but not too high.

When negotiations broke down, the fuzz broke down his door, pepper-sprayed the poor schmo, and arrested his ass.

A pity. Because what better way to kick TomKat off the cover of every gossip magazine in the world than with THE CELEBRITY WEDDING OF THE YEAR!!!!

Oh, don’t look so haughty… you’ve done worse

Paris + night vision + Sexy Frederick + pizza… come on, tell me you wouldn’t watch that sex tape.

Rumours that Kris Jenner is trying to convince a second gunmen to hold his own stand-off, whilst demanding a lamb souvlaki and Khloe Kardashian remain completely unfounded…. at this stage, at least.

Though we probably shouldn’t give Kris any more great ideas


John Di Maggio brings you ‘I Know That Voice’

July 5, 2012

Coming soon in 2013, Executive Produced by ‘Futurama’s’ Bender himself, John Di Maggio, comes this awesome documentary.

Check out the trailer below:

I can’t wait for this feature-length peek behind the curtain at the history of voice acting, and the artistic processes of such incredible talents as Di Maggio, Billy West, Tara Strong, Nancy Cartwright, Kevin Conroy, Tom Kenny, the legendary June Foray, Seth Green, Hank Azaria, Jess Harnell & the one and only Mark Hamill.

Or, if you prefer…

Bender, Fry, Twilight Sparkle, Bart Simpson, Batman, Spongebob Squarepants, Rocky (of Rocky & Bullwinkle), Chris Griffin, Chief Wiggum, Wakko Warner & the Joker.

Lord I’m an overgrown child.