Posts Tagged ‘Ageing’

Save Ferris?

March 7, 2013
Matthew Broderick at his most face punchiest

Matthew Broderick at his most face punchiest

I was flicking through channels a few nights ago when I stumbled upon ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’. An old favourite, a John Hughes classic… I settled in for the ride and realised pretty quickly that something was… different. Peculiar. Odd.

Note: I’m about to examine the concept of ageing through a pop culture prism. Yes, it’s the way we examine everything else around here. Just know that you’ve been forewarned.

See, I know that FBDO is a movie that I’ve always enjoyed. I know this. But I’ve noticed, especially over the past few years, that as time goes by I find the character Ferris Bueller more and more insufferable with every viewing of the film.

He’s our hero! Everybody loves Ferris! The only people who don’t love Ferris are uptight dickwads, like his sister, who just needs to learn to relax (and embrace the love of a heroin addict, natch), and of course the evil Principal Ed Rooney (played by Jeffrey Jones, who was a) a ginger, and b) later became a registered juvenile sex offender – coincidence?). As Grace the school secretary tells us, Ferris is a righteous dude.

Except he’s not. He’s horrible! He’s completely selfish. Materialistic. Manipulative. Hedonistic. He’s an inch away from being a Sociopath really, an early incarnation of Gen-Y self-obsession (all he’s missing is the requisite iPhone, so that he could relentlessly document his day off on Twitter and Instagram).

Save Ferris? Fuck Ferris! Why won’t somebody save poor frigging Cameron!

Alright, so maybe I’m taking this too far. All I know is that I enjoy Matt Broderick’s mugging, smirking, ‘ain’t I somethin’ Ferris less and less with every viewing. And that, I think, is ALLLLLLL on me.

With every additional year I’m removed from my teens, I take one step farther away from Team Ferris. Am I now firmly planted in Team Jean/Shauna? Am I give or take 10 years or 2.5 kids away from being Team Mother f’n Rooney?

You're starting to really wonder why he was so hell bent on catching Ferris now, aren't you...

You’re starting to really wonder why he was so hell bent on catching Ferris now, aren’t you…

Am I getting too old for John Hughes?

You like to think that you’ll always be part of the Breakfast Club. But sooner or later maybe we all become Dick Vernon.

BreakfastClub

God I hope they’re not showing ‘Sixteen Candles’ anytime soon on TV… I don’t know that I could take it…

BPM

Aguilera-ing

February 9, 2011

Adj –

To over-sing the simplest of songs, to stretch single notes without meaning or purpose.

There’s been much froo fraw over Christina Aguilera’s rendition of the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ pre-game at the NFL Superbowl. Strangely it’s revolved almost entirely around the fact that she got the lyrics wrong, rather than the fact she once again displayed the innate ability to turn a simple, 90-second song into what felt like a 4 and a half-minute extravaganza.

Much like this:

You can sing.

Loudly.

We get it.

Of greater concern to me was the fact that Xtina seems to be slowly morphing into a Glenda the Good Witch of the North shadow-image of ‘Jersey Shore’s Snooki.

Am I showing my age if I tell you that the most prominent hot pop stars of my youth were good ol’ dirrrrrrty Christina, Britney (of course)…

and Jessica…

Take heed Rihanna, Katy, Ke$ha:

All the money in the world, your private chef, personal trainer, a nip here, a tuck there, the odd quirky marriage and an entourage numbering in the thousands… all of these things combined¬†still can’t halt time, or stop your barrel-full o’crazy from eventually flooding out.

Thanks to 20/20 hindsight it seems easy now to see that Pink, of all people, was going to age a hell of a lot better than her Top 40 counterparts.

Hmm…

Britney… Christina… Jessica… and Snooki: The World Tour 2013!

I best start drinking now if I want to be sufficiently sloppy and sentimental by show time.

Forever yours as I leave you imagining a rendition of the ‘Star Spangled Banner’ with that 4-part harmony…

BPM