Posts Tagged ‘Lady Gaga’

Katy Perry vs Lady Gaga

June 9, 2010

So many jokes, so little time...

Yeah, I know, I could’ve sworn I’d already had this dream too at some point or another…

Nevertheless, our news story of the day is:

KATY PERRY SLAMS LADY GAGA VIDEO

Katy used Twitter (of course) to air her displeasure with Gaga’s new music video for ‘Alejandro’.

Perry, the daughter of two Christian pastors, said of the clip, “Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke“.

Uh huh.

Now, I luuurrrrrrves me some Katy Perry. In fact, I like her almost as much as I dislike Lady Gaga. She’s like a sexier, scantily clad Zooey Deschanel-doppelganger. And by all reports ANY woman who can tame Russell Brand’s dickie-doo must be pretty special.

And I don’t even hold it against her when she tries to start a TweetWar. Go nuts. Call Gaga a world-class douche for choosing to ‘express’ herself in a UK concert last week as a murder victim spattered in blood just hours after a British taxi driver killed 12 people in a shooting rampage. Call the ‘Alejandro’ clip rubbish. Call it more self-indulgent twaddle from a pop singer with an extremely inflated sense of her own ‘artistry’. Call it any number of things.

But…

Do you really want to be the one taking shots at other musicians for cheap, tacky n’ tawdry methods of self-promotion, Katy?

That'd be your first hit single...

This'd be you in a skintight bodysuit beneath a water fountain in the music video for 'Starstrukk'...

Annnnnddd this'd be your outfit of choice at this week's MTV Movie Awards

Pot. Kettle. Black g-string with a crucifix emblazoned on the crotch.

S’all I’m sayin.

BPM

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Getting to the (front)bottom of things…

May 24, 2010

Finally, we can all sleep at night once again, for it has been CONCLUSIVELY PROVEN that Lady Gaga… has a hoohoo.

Lady Gaga w/ Lady Junk

After a “close encounter” with a rock journalist in the bathroom of a Berlin sex club, all our greatest fears can now and forever be laid to rest. The journalist in question, female tabloid writer Caitlin Moran, watched Gaga sit down and piss through her fish net tights.

With a vagina.

Damn… just as we were about to drag Leonard Nimoy out of retirement for a special presentation of ‘In Search Of…’

I’m sure this news will spark a plague of horny Googler’s searching several variants of LADY GAGA PUSSY VAG BERLIN SEX, in the desperate hope that Miss Moran has some photographic proof to back up her journalistic integrity.

Worry not, sad and pathetic gents. Because if we know Gaga at all, then we can be sure that if she wasn’t getting someone to film this whole retarded spectacle as it happened, we’ll at least get a dramatic re-creation in her next film clip.

Start preparing that blur effect NOW, Video Hits…

BPM

There’s something in your hair

January 10, 2010

Lady Gaga at a Consumer Electronics Show last week in Las Vegas

When this is referred to as just one of your more extreme headpieces… Sweet Jesus…

Confession time: I don’t ‘get’ Lady Gaga. I just don’t.

First let me say that admittedly I’m not a smart man. However… I’ve got numerous university degrees (barely worth the paper they’re printed on), I pay way too much attention to pop culture, and I’d like to think I have an adequate understanding of fame, the human psyche and even how the media can control and/or manipulate information.

But still… can someone give me some kind of explanation that rings true about this woman and who/what she is? Please?

For the record, I don’t mind her music. It’s catchy, well written, melodic for the most part.

I just loathe the cult of celebrity, in this instance particularly when it comes to the ‘character’ she’s built for herself.

People have tried telling me to look at her as simply a construct, a woman who’s been smart enough to create a meticulously planned look, voice and persona. Right. So she’s an attention-whore in an age where we venerate such needy succubi. Says more about this generation than it does Gaga, me thinks.

Or there’s theĀ  “She’s just expressing herself, who she really is, free of societal constraints” theory.

Doesn’t this…

Sexy. Difficult to breathe, but sexy.

Look like a lot of work to express who you really are? On da inside and all?

I give her less than 12 months before people tire of the faux-quirky bullshit once and for all. If that means she focuses more on her music than piss-weird headdresses, I’ll be happy.

I just want to understand.

But until that happens, here’s ‘South Park’s Eric Cartman singing Poker Face.

BPM