Posts Tagged ‘The Running Man’

Poor Mindy McCready…

February 19, 2013


You know, I’d rather be repeatedly punched in my monkey parts than watch a minute of ‘Celebrity Rehab’… but seriously —

THIS headline:


Fifth. Out of about 50.

Strange… it’s almost like Dr. Drew and Co. were more concerned with exploiting people with emotional problems purely for entertainment purposes, rather than helping them or something???

I’ll say it again – day by day, inch by inch, we struggle closer and closer to television finally giving up and just embracing the dystopian future of ‘The Running Man‘…

I'd seek help from Richard Dawson circa '87 before I'd speak to Dr. Drew, any day o' the week

I’d seek help from Richard Dawson circa ’87 before I’d speak to Dr. Drew, any day o’ the week

Which does not work for me. At all. I for one still look shitty in a lycra bodysuit, and cannot effectively wield a chainsaw whilst in hand-to-hand combat.

Not whilst on camera anyways.

Rest in Peace, Mindy.



The Biggest Loser (again): Who Dies Wins!

February 14, 2010

Don't you love the super-fit personal trainer running with them for 'moral support'? You've never even SEEN a cheeseburger, asshole!

Was I the only person who didn’t realize that this season of ‘The Biggest Loser’ in Australia is supposed to culminate in all contestants participating in a 42 kilometre marathon?!?

I’m not kidding.

The show claims that after 11 weeks of fitness and weight loss training, all contestants (minus eliminated kiddie-porn enthusiasts, of course) will run a 42 km marathon to see who will compete for the show’s $200,000 prize money.

Experts and assorted pundits have already been very quick to warn that this kind of stunt could result in serious health repercussions. A 150kg+ contestant has already been eliminated from the show after suffering leg fractures and suspected shin splints whilst trying to run 4 kilometres in one of their daffy trials.

There’s a legitimate chance that one of these stupid fatties could die attempting that marathon. My question is this; at what point do you disregard the entertainment value of watching fat people exercise until they go into cardiac arrest? Is a show like ‘The Biggest Loser’ perfectly within their rights to push their latest charge of moron’s to the brink of death? Over it? Where is the line drawn?

Ponder THAT for a moment.

I’ve never really had any interest in reality television, mainly because I find the entire process the antithesis of reality (I realize I’m stating the obvious, but whattya gonna do). There’s so much artifice involved in all of these fucking shows, I’d rather watch a drama that someone actually talented wrote.

Trivia note: Stephen King wrote a series of novellas during the late 70’s and early 80’s under the pseudonym ‘Richard Bachman’. The novella’s were invariably short, bleak and brutal, even for King. Several of these novella’s were compiled and released in 1 volume (entitled ‘The Bachman Books’) in the late 80’s. King wrote 2 stories in particular about futuristic reality TV-style competitions, where the goal wasn’t to lose weight, or win a recording contract, or dance like a muscular, spastic faerie. It was to survive the competition itself.

One of these novella’s was called ‘The Long Walk’, and has been in movie development hell for a lonnngggg time. The other was stripped of much of it’s theme and harshness, and made into the film ‘The Running Man’, starring the Governator himself.

‘The Running Man’ was set in the year 2019.

Place your bets now about how long it’ll be before we’re watching idiots die on our TV screens every night at 6:30pm, all trying to win a Big! Cash! Jackpot!!!

I say 2017. But then I’ve always been a pretty conservative gambler.